While surfing around the web procrastinating a few days ago, I came across a blog by a woman I know. In fact I know her well. Not to put too fine a point on it, she's one of the nastiest, most vicious human beings I've ever actually known, as revealed by her many actions (not just or even mostly toward me). Now, maybe there's some reason for her vile behavior that we are not aware of. Maybe she has lonely moments of remorse when she asks if God will forgive her, like my evil concierge of the bad old days. I'm prepared to believe that everyone has a good side. Even Hitler was fond of dogs.
But I was taken aback to see that in her blog, this woman seemed so nice. If I hadn't known her personally, I would have thought from her blog that she must be rather charming.
It makes me wonder what other bloggers are hiding. (Or not revealing.) And whether the impression readers have of me and the rest of them is at all accurate!
of course I'm totally curious to know the address of this blog!
does make one wonder how others perceive us, based solely on what we present on our blogs.
Posted by: Aralena | 07 March 2013 at 15:02
I've had that experience, too, and it's very jarring! A while ago a friend of mine told me she'd stumbled upon the blog of a woman we both knew. The funny part was that this woman had posted an entry about bullying and about supposedly being bullied. We had a good laugh, especially when we got to the part where she postulated that the reason she was being bullied was because she was such a nice, good, wonderful person.
As you can probably guess, we (and many others) had known her as a bully herself in "real life." She had made a lot of people miserable while she was in their lives. She was incredibly manipulative, narcissistic, vindictive, used people and then stabbed them in the back, and was always eager to play the victim in situations in which she always turned out to be the true aggressor.
Every once in a while my curiosity gets the better of me and I check back on the blog. She presents herself as this super sweet, cutesy sort of girl - similar to how she often presents herself in person upon first meeting someone. Reading it, you would think she were the nicest person in the world, and she even has a small following who seem to think of her that way. If only they knew!
Like you, it's really got me thinking. I wonder if she believes her own spin about herself, which leads me to wonder not only about the bloggers I follow but also about myself. Though I'm not a blogger, I wonder how close my perception of myself is to how others perceive me. It's a given that it won't be an exact match, but it's got me a little worried... What if the disconnect is just as great as it is with this woman, and I'm really hurting people all the while thinking of myself as a basically good person? Something to ponder.
Posted by: Allison | 07 March 2013 at 19:44
What I wonder is if the people who meet her through her blog ever see the bad side of her. If you met someone for a short time, or never have to depend on them, maybe you wouldn't ever see it.
Allison, your last question is one I wonder too! I know for a fact, though, that I couldn't do the things to other people I have seen this woman do.
Now I read other blogs more carefully, I must say!
Posted by: Sedulia | 08 March 2013 at 15:40
Can you give us a hint? Heh heh.
Posted by: ragazza | 08 March 2013 at 22:02
I wish I wish I wish I could!
Posted by: Sedulia | 09 March 2013 at 15:18
So many mixed emotions reading this!
People often aren't what they seem and some are very good at creating a fiction about themselves and are verrrry adept at delivering on it, on the internet or otherwise.
And next "Oh gawd, I hope it's not ME she's talking about, and that feeling OMG although I think I'm nice and kind, I don't realize that actually I'm a nasty awful person. Really! :) (Phewffies, as I would say, since we haven't actually met.)
And next, yes those people who appear to be your friend but suck the marrow of your soul, your work, for their own advantage.
And next, can you give a teensy little hint, like, if she is in Paris?
Posted by: Polly-Vous Francais | 11 March 2013 at 02:20
No of course it's not you, Polly! It's too dangerous to say anything more, though.
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2011/05/dsk-french-lives-french-law.html
Posted by: Sedulia | 11 March 2013 at 12:57
This is my new favorite blog. The story of your concierge made me laugh, cry, angry, inspired--a very beautiful, human story of a real character. I think it is good to have these kinds of people in our lives from time-to-time. They teach us something and take off a lot of the rough edges we would otherwise have.
She may have been suffering from bipolar disorder, from some of the characteristics you described. I know that is so American of me, but it is entirely possible.
Thank you for this story. Of course I am dying to know who's blog you are referring to above, perhaps you will reveal it someday.
Posted by: RJH | 28 March 2013 at 02:43
Thank you RJH! Especially for the comment about the gardienne. To tell the truth, the possibility of her having had bipolar disorder never occurred to me at the time. But now that you mention it, it seems as if it might really be an explanation for some of her behavior. How interesting!
Believe me I would love to tell people who the bloggeuse is! But it's not safe to do that.
Posted by: Sedulia | 28 March 2013 at 19:34