Peter Pan vs Guy Savoy

In America, you are supposed to be young. Men in their late fifties still think of themselves as boys, and feel it is oppressive to dress up. Women start to feel old at age 20 and no one with money has a wobbly chin. Young men don't flirt with older women in the U.S.-- they scarcely acknowledge them. My mother told me she feels "invisible." Old people rarely show up on television or in the movies, and when they do, they are often shown pleading for their smart, sassy kids' attention or respect.

In London, everyone is supposed to be young and cool.  The fashions and the places to go are for 20-year-olds, and fifty-year-olds at parties try to show that they are still as crazy and fun and loud-- and can drink as much-- as when they were at uni.

In Germany, the Alternativen are now establishment and still doesn't want to give up their self-image as youthful iconoclasts and revolutionaries. (Speaking of which, the French Communist party's Fête de l’Humanité was this weekend and 600,000 people were expected. Being a Communist is still pretty mainstream in France. They even have their own boy scouts.) What's funny is there really aren't all that many young people in Germany.

In France, things are different. Watching La cité de la peur for the first time (one of my kids' favorite movies), it didn't occur to me till near the end that the heroine is at least 45 years old and she's the one all the guys are after. You can be an older woman here and still feel very attractive to men. Look at Ségolène Royal! The men seem to enjoy being grownups, too.

I had a revelation about this. Could it be that the utter hell of French schools, lycées, prépas and universities, not to speak of the endless stages [internships] before people manage to get a job, or the soul-destroying trauma of getting a French driver's license, actually makes it easier for French kids to look forward to growing up and escaping into the privileges of adulthood?

*[Welcome to prépa. Your basin and your mattress are under your bench. You are allowed one minute a week to pee, and one hour at Christmas to celebrate with your family.]

Comments

[ZF]

The 'privileges of adulthood' reflect the fact that formal France has become a gerontocracy.

This is a normal development in France, which has occurred many times in the past. The normal response has been the accession of a new monarch, a revolution, or other generationally-tinged regime change leading to a new constitution.

It's not so clear that this system will work this time though, when the old people are entrenched behind so many regulations and young people have access to $20 one way low cost airline tickets to a life beyond France.

[LA Frog]

There is something effortless about aging in France -- compared to other countries like the U.S., where you're sent for cosmetic checks from your tender age onwards [and it's never good enough].

The French culture is about making the most of what you have, rather than change it [hence the unique "jolie-laide" concept]. Old can be sexy in France. But it's changing. The pressure for "jeunisme" and standardized looks is increasing [eg. French reality TV].

On a related note, Téchiné's movie "Les temps qui changent" recently opened in L.A. With Deneuve as Melki's wife and Depardieu's paramour. I didn't particularly like it, but what seems to have bothered the local viewers most is that "old Deneuve" could still be a subject of desire. Same with her movie "Au plus près du Paradis".

[Neil]

I so agree with you here. Maybe it is the French respect for history and culture that enables French society to see the beauty and wisdom in something mature.

[nardac]

Yes... and No. I like where you're going with this, but it's not really that true. I mean, Segolene is kind of like Jane Fonda, still keeping things fit. Her face hasn't changed much since the early 80s. Just look in the pharmacies and you can see all that anti-aging business going on. Ok, so they don't dress like tarts. Well, it's not a french thing to show too much skin either, is it? Yes, there are more older women around, but they're preserved in a way that's not unlike our American counterparts. Botox is botox, and it's popular all around the world, and all the TV anchors in the world are using it.

I can imagine someone from the Cote d'Azur coming up with a funny rebuttal for your post.

[The Bold Soul]

So VERY relieved to hear this, given that I am single, 45, and moving to Paris in November. Nice to know I'm going to a place where I have more than a snowball's chance in hell to have some romance in my life again! Thanks for making my day!

[Michelle]

Nardac said "Well, it's not a french thing to show too much skin either, is it?"

I remember my first trip to France well. The mother of my French friend went topless in Brittany. I would say that's a lot of skin! :)

[Sedulia]

Nardac, I can see for myself that older women get more attention in France! I don't think it's my imagination, and I like it. Maybe it's partly because people here spend more time with their extended families than Americans do, so young men may be more comfortable with older people than the average American is. That's my theory anyway.

Bold Soul, that's great that you're pursuing your dream!

[Nab]

Who I am to tell? Will you say... (and you should) as I am French and 23. But still, I do have a comment!
I think we are, in France, going down the American road on this matter as we do on so many others. Botox and lifting and all of this intervention are increasingly popular, but there also is a tradition of "romance for the elderly" ...if I may say so.

Let me give you some examples that have built my vision of mature women.

In French litterature, L'éducation sentimentale is not only a classic book but also a real theme. In Flaubert's novel, a young boy around 18 fell suddenly in love with a married women. She will refused herself for the next 30 years... this is the 19th century.
Cohen's Ariane ("Belle du seigneur", please don't be impressed by the number of pages... it is surreally well written) lives her first lovestory as she is already well settled and married.

More recently "Franz et Clara" is a very nice short story about a young lady musician who falls in love with a 13-year-old boy.

It is not about being an ageing woman, it is about finally being a "femme". She knows herself, knows what she likes and what she looks like. She is accomplished and has a self confidence that is appealing and that no girl my age could ever compete with.

It is this particular appeal that you will find in our books as much as in our films that certainly helped building the image of an ageing women being in fact "dans la fleur de l'âge".