Americans in Paris: is this you?

Because I am what my family calls the Queen of Guidebooks, I couldn't resist this "Paris Survival Kit" I bought in a Paris museum recently, while on the prowl for something completely different. Isn't it it cute? Look how there's even a little fake hole at the top for the display rack. 

I bought it because of the genuine information I found in it, such as a few places to eat, work, or send visitors; also because it's fun to see how real Parisians look at themselves– this book is aimed at them. The only foreigners to get their own chapter in the book are Americans. But don't be flattered! Despite the scholarly-looking preface from the (bogus) Harvard professor John P. Kirkpatrick, Ph.D (the real author got it right in having him dateline it Cape Cod, July 2015), the book's Americans are there strictly to be avoided.

How do you learn to identify (and avoid) Americans in Paris?

1) The American in Paris smiles. 

This physiognomic particularity should warn you, since in Paris no one ever smiles. (see Gueule [attitude], p. 64)

2) The American in Paris is loud

You won't even have to bother looking around the restaurant to identify the Americans who have infiltrated the clientele. The background noise will tell you quite enough. Moreover, the American in Paris is the only person to call the waiter "Garçon," even when it's a waitress.

3) The American in Paris lives in an amusement park.

For the expat American, "Paris is a moveable feast," as Hemingway wrote, which shows you how completely he got things wrong. When you explain that your Paris life is nothing but an exhausting series of underground journeys, interminable office hours, and dreary evenings, the American in Paris laughs! Because as for him, he is having a great time going out, eating and drinking!

4. The American in Paris lives on the Île Saint-Louis.

It's not even an exaggeration to say that NO ONE but Americans is on the Île Saint-Louis. Our American– an upper manager in a multinational company, a gallery owner endemic to the rue du Faubourg-Saint-Honoré, or perhaps a journalist for CNN–can therefore well afford to hire you as a private tutor of the French language.

The seventh arrondissement, especially buildings with a view of the Eiffel Tower, are also prized by members of the American upper class [in English in the original], who choose to live there in the hopes of making their friends back home jealous with their Facebook photos.

The Fantasy of the "True Paris"

A serious mental disorder affects the American in Paris: the Fantasy of the "True Paris," which is a sort of Stendhal Syndrome in reverse. The American Bohemian in Paris–possibly a jazz musician, a painter at Place du Tertre, a Yin Yoga teacher, a waiter at Breakfast in America, or another kind of artiste–has abandoned a job in a huge agrofood business to live simply, devoted to the discovery of the "True Paris."

What is the True Paris? It's a complex mixture of clichés that groups together the films of Jean-Luc Godard, perfume ads, Bateaux-Mouches tourist brochures, and of course scenes from the movie Amélie. The American in Paris, therefore, must struggle every day to be convinced that Paris resembles this fantasy.

Note: The American in Paris (fifty- to sixty-year-olds version) is the only person who still believes in existentialism and that Rive Gauche cellars are still wild places.

Comments

[vagabonde]

I read the American in Paris pages that you show. I would have liked to hear your comments on what was said? I think that when they talk about the Americans in Paris they could be talking about tourists, mostly. For a while, trying to find French blogs, I read many blogs with a French name – but they were American blogs that were Francophile. Many of them talked about Paris as mentioned in the pages you showed. Some go back and forth to Paris but will only visit the same tourist places, and taking pictures of them. I think that if Americans don’t act like in the pages you showed, then French people don’t think they are Americans, but maybe British or other nationalities speaking English. When I am in Paris with my husband, who does not speak French, and we speak in English people are always so surprised that he is an American, very often they think he is Canadian. Like all stereotypes, it’s funny to read and it has some general truth in it, but that’s all, don’t you think?

[Sedulia]

(Sorry to answer so late– Christmastime is very busy in my big family!) I think stereotypes can be quite accurate as far as a group is concerned, but of course you have to look at people as individuals. There certainly are a lot of Americans in the Île Saint-Louis and around the Jardin de Luxembourg and the Champ de Mars; and they tend to be glamorous and rich. A lot of them live in Paris only part of the year. But of course there are lots of others too. Americans who have integrated and look French (like me!) are invisible, and then there are lots of students, writers, seekers who hope to find in Paris what they've always be looking for.

The French do have stereotypes about Americans, so that when you don't fit the stereotype, they often try to fit you into another stereotype– "Are you Canadian? British?" But Americans are like that about the French, too. Guess it's human nature!

Anyway, I found this book's stereotypes funny and pretty accurate, as stereotypes go.

[Mahee Ferlini]

Funny stereotypes and pretty funny! Great article!Thanks